WHEN TO DATE? Early Before Marriage or Ready For Marriage?

Have you ever wondered what is better than the other between dating early before marriage or when you are ready to marry? Has someone asked you what would be the best option and you wouldn't help?

Be you married or single; be you already in a relationship or not, this question might have come in your mind or someone asked you the same question. This is worthy of knowing and discussing. In this blog, I would like to share with my view (which I tested through discussing with other people across different age groups) and reasons why.

Response: Dating early before marriage is better than dating when ready to marry. 

In this blog, I have collected 5 reasons why you should date early before your marriage comes.

Five Reasons To Date Early

1. Family Planning: We have all heard about family planning, which I am not going to explain of course. What I want to say certainly is that family planning doesn't start when you have already formed the family (after marriage); it starts as early as possible when you start making your other plans including education, profession, etc. So, you don't have to plan alone. Be with someone to work on a plan so that there won't be coincidence after marriage in what you planned and what your partner planned before marriage.

Here, I have an example from my friend. He planned to do his bachelors and seek a job after. He planned that after getting a job, he would first get married and continue his studies later. After giving a birth to a daughter, he applied for a scholarship in Belgium and it was offered. When he told his wife the story he thought was an amazing one, the wife was so angry and immediately prohibited him to go. As of now, the man didn't go for studies and the scholarship was terminated.

2. Partnership: The best way to understand the meaning of marriage is to think of it as a business partnership. When you partner with someone or an organization, all the plans need to be made with both of your consent. It won't work out when you plan something to be done in partnership while your partner is not included in the planning process. How would they know what they are supposed to to to implement the plan? This is absolutely the same thing in marriage. Imagine planning to give births to two kids, and you're planning this alone without someone whom you will do this together. You already know that for you to bear a kid, you will always need someone else. What if you end up marrying someone who planned to give births to three kids? Now your plan is not going to work. This shows that you need some to plan from scratch, your studies, your profession and how w your family will look like. Otherwise, your plan will fail and believe, this will be an automatic source of conflicts.

3. Ongoing Learning: When you date early before the marriage, you get enough time to learn how best to live with your partner. Truly, none is perfect. Your partner will deceive you as many times as possible. Not intentionally, but because that's how they are. The longer you spend with someone in dating, the more you understand their behaviours, capabilities and emotions. With this understanding, you also know what you should do frequently, what to avoid...which all play a paramount role in your relationship, even after marriage. A bit of different advice that I would give here is that when you find out that your partner has something you don't like, it's not time to quit. Take time to see how you can correct that together. If it doesn't work, adopt it and move on.

4. Free From Pressure: Dating at the last minute when you want marry will put you on pressure. You will never have enough time to select a proper partner. You will not have time to learn how to live with together. This is because you will be thinking that you get too much old to marry; in some cultures, people will be laughing at you. So, all you will be seeking is someone willing to marry too so that you marry each other. You will not have an option to select the one your heart desires. This is what dating early prevents you from. When you date early, you take your time, think of a lady/man who suits your heart, your desires and whom you can compromise on plans. 

5. Starting Over Again: We can't deny the truth that you may happen reaching an inappropriate person while dating. A mismatch does happen. When dating early before marriage, you may find that the person you approached can't match your plans, can't satisfy your desires, can't accommodate your behaviours or vice-versa. When this happens, you are free to quit. And, most importantly, you still have time to search again until you find the most fitting person. But if you're dating immediately marrying, you will never have this time. I think you will not even realize all these mismatches, only after marriage. When you realize this after marriage, a high probability is that you will be unable to bear with him/her. You will likely end up divorcing or live with regular quarrels. 

There are numerous reasons why you should date early before marriage. I believe that everyone wishes to have a happy marriage ever. This is one of the strategies to take. I understand that you have your ideas concerning the same topic. What would be your answer here? Share with us in the comment section or contact me and we talk. If you know someone who would be helped by this blog, share with them so they make wise decisions.